


The Importance of Being Hairy

by The Hag (hagsrus)



Category: The Professionals
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-01
Updated: 2010-11-01
Packaged: 2017-10-13 00:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/130944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hagsrus/pseuds/The%20Hag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Doggerel inspired by a get-your-hobbit-name site which couldn't come up with anything usable for Ray Doyle.</p><p>Published in DISCOVERED IN A LETTERBOX 21 (Spring 2002)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Importance of Being Hairy

Poor Bungo Chubb had cause to be  
Of fellow hobbits wary:  
They laughed at him behind his back  
Because his feet weren't hairy.

He started on a winter's quest  
Drawn by a wild-eyed notion  
That he might find some wizard who  
Would sell a hair-growth potion.

He wandered over hill and dale,  
He hither went and yond,  
And found a hapless elf trapped in  
A frozen-solid pond.

His hair was wild with chestnut curls,  
His eyes were green of hue,  
And Bungo really fancied him  
Although his skin was blue.

"The water was so summer-warm  
"I slept a sleep profound,  
"A-dreaming of the one I'd love  
"But never yet have found.

"I slept so long the season changed,  
"So can you free me, please?"  
"I'll break the ice," our Bungo said,  
"Though my bald feet may freeze."

So Bungo, he lay down and thrust  
Against the ice so chilly;  
It melted from the blazing lust  
That heated up his willy.

Into his arms the elf did swim  
To finish off the thawing.  
They fell in love so fast the story's   
Bloody nearly boring.

"It's you I dreamed," the elf proclaimed,  
"I've hair enough for two.  
"This pledge I give: my heart and all  
"My Rogaine is for you.

"And if you'd like a change of pace  
"My boss, old Ponto G,  
"Will take you on for CI5  
"To partner there with me."

Triumphantly, on hirsute feet,  
Chubb marched back to the Shire,  
And hobbit girls who'd always scoffed  
Now gathered to admire.

He kissed them all and bade farewell.  
They sadly went to see  
Him screech off with his nameless love  
Inside a Ford Capri.


End file.
